Change yourself, not others

Apart from the incident of Joseph telling his brothers about their misdeeds, there is nowhere that he tried to change other people. The dreams he had were about him and his future, although his brothers were mentioned in them, he did not make the dreams about them. In Egypt, when his master’s wife tried to seduce him, he did not tell her that she should change. He told her that he could not commit such a sin against God. In other words, Joseph was focused on his role and responsibility. He did not try to force his master to stop being a slave owner. This is not to say that there is anything wrong in fighting to free people from slavery and other forms of unfair servitude.

What you should be paying attention here to is the tendency for some to resort to name calling and hurling insults that do not change anything. Instead of saying that “They did this to me and therefore, they should become such and such,” say “I am better than what they did to me and above where they have placed me.” Don’t wait for those who believe that they are superior to you to change before you believe that you are not inferior. I cannot stress this enough. Just because somebody believes that your skin color makes you inferior and treats you as if you are inferior does not mean that you have to believe it.

Never allow the opinions of others about you to become your reality. If somebody says that you are a donkey and treats you like a donkey, will you accept?

What you believe is what will rule over you. All people are created equal. If there is an alternative, please share it with me.

It is the truth that sets people free, not the traditions and cultural norms that are not based on facts!

When did the amount of melanin in somebody’s skin become a base for defining that person? Can you determine the quality of the house solely on the paint on the exterior of the house?

Stop believing and spreading this craziness. Is it not written that we are all one in Christ? One human race, created in the image of God.

Who do you believe? Let God be true, and all others are liars!

Focus on changing you, not the other person who has chosen to believe a lie and live in ignorance. If all the facts about the human race have not convinced somebody to realize that skin color is not enough to segregate us, then you might as well allow that person to wallow in their ignorance. Allow them to feel superior all they want because it is a figment of their imagination. However, if you dare believe that you are in any way inferior, a victim or in a disadvantageous position, then you are feeding this monster, and it will eat you up.

Please resist the temptation to resort to anger, resentment, and bitterness because these feelings can put you in a self-imposed prison that you may never escape.

If you allow love to guide you, nobody is going to trample on you. I did not say they will not try to, but when they do, they will fail. They will only succeed if you believe they will. Therefore, focus on changing your belief system. This is something that I am going to dwell on in the last chapter.

The slave masters prevented the slaves from reading and writing because they knew that reading was going to expose the slaves to the truth, and once people know the truth, it will set them free. How about you? What books are you reading? What are you feeding your mind with? Do you know that you become your thoughts? Nobody controls your thoughts but you. Whatever you think about happens eventually.

Many people want to keep blaming others because they do not want to take responsibility for their actions.

You are not obliged to accept whatever status people give you or whatever name they give you. It is your responsibility to refuse to be a second class citizen, even if other people insist that you are.

Blaming, complaining, and refusing to do your part will fail and has always failed.

Those that have broken from the entrapment of racism are those that refuse to believe the narrative that they are inferior and are children of a lesser god.

There is one God, one human race. You are part of that one human race that was created by God in His image. Who are you going to believe? May I submit that you believe what God says about you, not some social construct concocted by people driven by fear, hate, and ignorance?

Originally published at



Dr. Eric Tangumonkem, Author, Inspiration Speaker

My mission is to inspire, equip and motivate people from all works of life to become aware of the greater possibilities for their own lives and to take ACTION.